On December 31 of ’08, I wrote a letter to myself–just two weeks after my mother died–looking back and taking stock of the year, and then looking forward and thinking about what I wanted to achieve in 2009. We’re nearly at the halfway point of the year, so I pulled the letter out to remind myself of what I wrote, and was really amazed and thrilled to discover that I’m more than halfway through my personal goals for ’09: some big, some small, but all important to me in their own ways.
Re-reading my thoughts from that painful time, what floats up at me through the haze now is the still-strong sense of hope I had. I was down and felt shell-shocked, but I was determined to get through it and find not only better days but a happier me. I won’t bore you with the entire letter (although I had so much fun both writing it and rereading it that I’d encourage you to write a similar “Future You to Current You” missive outlining your goals!) but do want to share a small part of it:
Work hard, play gently, love your family and friends, and be true to yourself. Run your own race. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Stand up for yourself and do what feels right to and for you. Don’t let other people’s opinions influence yours. Let go of stress and negative anticipation. Accept. Let go. Appreciate what you have right now. Recognize that life has already started and you are in the middle of it! Understand that you are complete just as you are, without a man or a child or a career or whatever, because you are – because you exist – because you are love. Get rid of the “should” and accept the “is”.
Special thanks to Sarah Klein for helping me through such a difficult time after losing my beautiful mother Nancy. Like many of my friends, she was there for me; even more importantly, however, she reached out unbidden, again and again and again, encouraging me to sob, to write, to think and to explore those darker places within myself that traditionally we’re in a hurry to flee from, while simultaneously teaching lessons about the Law of Positive Attraction. I definitely got my hands dirty for a while there, but this winter and spring of soul-searching was so worth the happiness and purpose that has emerged! I thank all my readers, too, for the love and support you showed me. I want, in my own way, to somehow repay each and every one of you in kind.
I hope your first half of 2009 has been great–and that the second half will shatter expectations!