There’s a beauty event or seven to attend in LA every day. I say no to most of them because: honestly, if I went to them all, I’d just spend my entire life in the car. (Why must you be so awesome yet so far away from everything, Santa Monica?!) But every once in a while, I slap on the makeup, cobble together a respectable outfit, and pour myself into the Toyota Camry, making my way toward Hollywood.

Fancy Victoria’s Secret event house…just another day at the office.

Today’s poison: the Victoria’s Secret Swim event at a mansion in Beverly Hills. You know, as you do.

Victoria’s Secret Spring 2013 bikinis

As soon as I walked in, I was smacked in the face with fabulosity: swimsuit models, giant posters of swimsuit models, shimmering pools, cocktail bars, what have you. I also ran into my friend Sydne Summer, who is one of LA’s pre-eminent fashion bloggers and just straight up nine times cooler and more fashionable than I am. (It’s okay, I’ve made peace with it.)

As soon as I saw this photo with my friend Sydne Summer, I realized I needed to get my bangs trimmed STAT

I decided that my chipped, raggedy nails could benefit from one of the Victoria’s Secret manicures on offer, so I picked a red nail polish–like I do every single time…never underestimate my beauty laziness!–and then asked Sydne’s advice. She gently, kindly, but helpfully steered me toward a spring-ier color: this coral.

I was going to go for red, but Sydne convinced me to go for this pretty coral…

And, hot damn, if Sydne wasn’t right!

Rockin’ my coral nails

After I looked through my photos and saw the photo Sydne and I had taken together, I realized my bangs were verging on Cousin It territory. So, I bid adieu to Sydne, the Victoria’s Secret models, and the Beverly Hills mansion and high-tailed it to Byu-Ti Salon in Brentwood, where my new BFF Lara Linscott gave me a bangs trim.

With Lara Linscott at Byu-Ti salon in Brentwood: hooray for fresh bangs!

So much better. Let us not discuss how I’ve been trimming my bangs at home myself. Shh.

At Byu-Ti Salon in Brentwood

Lesson learned. Leave it to the professionals.